Dear Friend,

I miss you. What more can I say but those three little words? To be frank, I don't want to write you this letter. Because I know, it'll hurt you more than it'll hurt me. No, honestly, it hurts me more. I don't know why, but I just need to write. I haven't wrote anything to you for awhile now. It's not because I don't want to (well partially) it's because I don't have the heart to. It's been years since it happened, but I can't seem to let it go. It still huddles inside me. Inside my now-fragile-heart, my brain, my memories and my eyes. Sometimes at night I reminisced our bitter-sweet friendship.

It hurt. And it still does.
Do you remember the tree we always go after choir everyday? Yeah the big old oak tree that you loved so much. We used to lay down side by side, holding hands and just let the breeze passed by. I miss that, I like that. Our mothers used to search for us when we suddenly fell asleep under that tree.

Well, I'm writing under it right now. I'm sorry. But I broke our promise. You said not to cry. Not ever. But I can't. I can't control myself. This supposed to make me feel better, but writing you this makes me cry even harder than the days that I've cried before. The trees are waving with the wind rhythmically saying that you are alright, you are safe and that you miss me.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

My mum won't let me come here anymore. But I sneaked out of the house and drove all the way. Yeah, I can drive. It's weird isn't it? I'll be taking my SAT this year. You and me supposed to take it this year. Remember how we used to talk about getting our first car, first kiss, first love, first everything? You used to say that if I ever get a boyfriend, that I should ask your permission. Do you remember that? We used to laugh at each other for thinking so far. But it's been 7 years. We were ten. We didn't know any better. And now, I am 17 and you are still 14. It hurts that I didn't get to tell you about my first kiss, first boyfriend and car in real life. Where I can see you smile and laugh. Where I can see you mocking me about how my braces will get stuck to someone's mouth if I kiss him. You used to say that. I wanted to ask your permission for my new boyfriend. His name is Jake. He's nice. I know you'll like him. We've been together for 3 years now. My parents love him.

I can still remember how we used to sit inside the hospital room when you were sick. We were 13. I didn't know back then that it was that serious. Because you looked so healthy, so happy. I thought you would someday get out of the hospital and come back to school. I remember the time where we looked outside the window, watching all the leaves fell to the ground until the last one. It was magnificent. Beautiful. Your eyes glinted and your smile was so broad. You were happy. But behind those happiness, you were suffering. Little did I know that, that was the last autumn we could spend together. If I knew earlier, I would have taken your picture.

Though they shaved off your hair, you still looked beautiful to me. My mother said that you got sicker and your hair would just be a burden. So they shaved 'em off. My mother refused to tell me what was your sickness. She said I shouldn't know. I still have the photo albums we made when you were in the hospital. I keep them safely in my drawer.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Why GOD took you away so suddenly? I kept on questioning it. I didn't get a chance to say a proper goodbye. I didn't get a chance to kiss you goodnight forever. It's like I'm mad at you. It's crazy.

But you are gone. And that's all there is to it. The support team for cancer's victim's family and friends doesn't help. I don't understand why you have to go in such a tender age? 90% of the victims survived. I miss you.

I can't find our diary. The diary that we both wrote about our lives. I still have the keys to it. But your mother moved houses, and the diary got lost in the process of moving. It's a pity, I would love to read our entries that we did.

I've been keeping the keys for years. I have two of 'em. Yours and mine. I've made mine into a locket. While yours I've kept it in a small box. I didn't know what to do with it, but now I do. I dug a small whole under the tree and buried it safely underground where I can always come and remember you here.

While this letter I will bury it with the key later, but for now, I'll keep it close to my heart.
I love you. Missing you always.

Love forever,
Your dearest friend.