Unsaid Thoughts: February 2009

I had this dream.
It was a beautiful dream.
I went to a place where everything is perfect beyond imaginations.
It is the absolute contrary of the reality.
Nothing goes wrong in the place.
It is heaven on earth.
The place where the sun shines warmly.
The place where the rain pours rhythmically.
The place where birds are singing sweetly.
The place where the wind blows briefly.
The place where rivers flow tranquilly.
The place where the sky is always blue and serene.
The place where the tress are greener than ever.
The place where flowers bloom even in winter.
It is beautiful.

Every time I sleep, I would wait impatiently to arrive there.
I would run wild and crazy all over the grass and collapsed.
Twirling round and round feeling the breeze through my hair.
I would listen to the nature calling me to sleep.
I would watch the birds soared freely slicing the bright blue sky.
I would just sit under a shady tree and enjoy the breath taking view.
In other occasion, I would draw and read all day long.
I love it there.
I could live forever there.
Where nothing goes wrong.
Where nobody and no one goes to war.
Where animals run and the tress sing.
It was amazing.

But too bad.
It wasn’t real.
It was only a figment of my imaginations.
It was only fuel to fill my hungry hallucination.
It was only lies.
Nothing more than that.
Sometimes, when I thought about it back when I’m conscious.
When I’m not sleeping, I felt like a superb idiot.
“Where on this earth could I find such place like that?”
No where.
God doesn’t make earth a place for humans like me happy.
God makes this earth filled with problems and riddles.
Where we need to find answers.
God makes earth to throw reality in.
God makes us to prove to him that we deserve a better life than what he gives to us.
God wants us to work hard to get what we want.
What we want is happiness.
God promises us great happiness in the future,
God promises us undividable pleasures in heaven above.
But to get there, there’s a catch.
We need to prove him that we justify to be there.
We need to work hard.
We need to pray.
We need to do things.
We need to obey.
We need to do them all.

But it’s OK.
Because this is life.
I know now that nothing is beautiful here.
I know that tribulations that make us think and appreciate life better.
I know now that ‘the place’ I dreamt about is the best thing about reality.
It gives us hopes and desires.
It gives us the preview of what is coming up next for us if we work hard enough.

I know now what reality is offering us might not be the same as our desires.
But reality makes us more discipline and a better person.
Reality is the subject and we are the students.
We need to learn and understand reality.
In that way, we’ll definitely pass with flying colours.

I might not be sleeping now.
But I can imagine ‘the place’ in my dream, it’ll come true soon.
Here, in reality where I’m able to absorb and savor the real moments with conscious mind.

This is a "going green" photoshoot. I am just having fun with my old Olympus Camera. I'm trying to go green and I hope all of you'll join me. You gotta love the green!