your absence...

made me realized,
nothing lasts forever,
nothing is always what it seems,
though i know these,
i didnt think they apply to reality that much,
because looking back,
you looked contented,
not happy, no,
just contented.

the way you took everything in,
i didnt see you cry,
you were moody, yes,
but you werent crying.

but now,
you're not here,
my verdict proved me otherwise.

i heard,
you were haunted by the past,
you were so afraid you'll slip off again,
"possibilities are there,
but dont forget the impossibles as well" she said,
but your efforts i tell you,
are well wasted my friend.

i thought i could read you like an open book,
but clearly i was wrong,
i thought you passed that phase,
but clearly you didnt.

you triggered a certain thought in everybody's mind,
you make us doubt,
you make us question until today.

i dont know what to feel,
am i angry?
yes.
am i sad?
yes.

i guess i shouldnt blame you,
because frankly,
i thought of the same move.

but i was too scared to execute it,
you beat me to it.

i guess that's what i really feel right now,
defeated

and
maybe,
a pinch,
of

regret.