Trigger on loose.

Mum keeps on telling me that I have to grow up. Look in others' perspectives. Be more mature.

Mum : This world doesn't revolve around you.
Me :
Mum : Look at me when I'm talking to you.
Me : *moves head
Mum : *sighs* Why do you have to make everything so difficult?
Me :
Mum : I would love to see some reactions.
Me : *shrugs
Mum : I give up! *walks away, slams door*

Works everytime.
I know the world doesn't revolve around me.
It doesn't revolve around anyone.
I just hate being mature.
You have no rooms for mistakes.
You have to be flawless.

I have a weapon you see.
A nine-millimeter Beretta pistol.
I couldn't help myself, it's a beauty.
It's automatic.

If life's being such an ass, you just pull the trigger.
Or you could ask someone to knock you out cold with the barrel.
Or you just choke the bullets.
It's helluva useful and handy.

If you chicken out that moment, then just leave it.
Do it another day.

Put the muzzle in your mouth and lick it while you're at it.
I did.
It smelled bitter.
It tasted bitter.
Like death.
Yeah, fast maybe a bit painful - death.

I didn't get the guts to do it though.
Maybe some other time.
Whatcha gonna do?
It's still in my hands.
I have my fingers curl tightly around the trigger.
It'll only take a little bit of force then - BAM!


I'M GONE.