The Break Up

I watched the break up scene of Rachel and Finn several times because whoever wrote that script is a genius. Every word Rachel said was so raw, so true that it hit me multiple times.

Glee Season 4, and this particular episode which was The Break Up episode (episode 4) where everybody broke up and went to different directions just spoke to me. 

Rachel's break up scene was the pint-point of a lame and mundane realization for me. 

I felt how she felt. 

I didn't cry. But I felt it. If I were to express myself on how complicated my feelings have become and how twisted my thoughts have intertwined, I wouldn't write or say my feelings and thoughts any differently from what Rachel had done (well maybe omitting the part about being in glee club or new york, yeah, you know, you get the drift.)

This is sort of a very personal post for me.

I'm heart broken, and I chose this particular break up scene because it's an angry break up and yes, I'm mostly angry now rather than sad. So here are some parts that I really like:

part 1:

Finn: I just needed time to think.

Rachel: You had four months. I hated you for what you did to me at that train station.

Finn: I was trying to help you.

Rachel: I hated you. And then when I got to New York, I thought how much you love me. And how hard that must have been for you. And I thought this...this is what a man looks like. This is how a man loves. But you, not telling me where you were for four months, and sneaking out before sunrise in the middle of the night without saying goodbye, that is not being a man, Finn.

part 2: 

Finn: I was trying to give you your freedom.

Rachel: I don't need you to give me my freedom. I am a grown woman. I don't need you to hide from me to keep me from doing what is right for me.

part 3:

Finn: Who am I? I barely even graduated high school and my life has absolutely no direction.

Rachel: Don't you get it? No matter how rich, or famous, or successful I become, when it comes to you, I'm always going to be that moon-eyed girl who freaked you out at a first glee rehearsal. You are the first boy who made me feel loved, and sexy, and visible. You are my first love. And I want more than anything for you to be my last. 



I just wanted to write something. Something that reflects more of myself in reality rather than just my imaginations going wild. 

Despite all the pain and bullshits people give me, I don't take them personally or make a huge deal out of them. That's me.

But this particular pain however just activated all my stimuli - that, in turn, augmented more pain. 

Crappy feeling isn't it? 






p.s. no, I'm not in a relationship.