Random Rant episode 3

salam.

ok, lets start.

now as i am in college, time is scarce in term of doing my homework but too much in term of doing unnecessary things. or is it the other way round?

regardless, i find it super hard to concentrate on my studies or study itself as i am yet to enjoy KBU. i mean of course the companies are great. the subjects are quite basics. the lecturers are eventhough sometimes heartless and impulsive, but actually quite caring and thorough (this could either be good or bad. NEVER both). but sometimes, you need to get the joy of it so that you feel like doing it. am i making sense? of course not.

i have three phase tests coming up. bio chemis and physics. my preparation? NIL. NADA.

im really eating myself up right now.

LITERALLY.

a presentation about paint. which due in two weeks. I HAVENT START A CRAP.

money wise is fine. i still get money from my parents though MARA's money has banked in already. but i spoil myself with food.

LOTS OF FOOD.

FAST FOOD AND HEAVY FOOD.

IM GETTING FATTER.

being in college is not HEALTHY AT ALL!
you WILL i repeat YOU WILL abuse yourselves with computer games, social websites, fast food and sleep. i even finished playing insaniquarium. a current dangerous addiction!

i mean, being in college at - well not yet 18 - is something well, a bit hard for me.

i know, i whine a lot, i should appreciate the opportunity given. dont get me wrong, i do.

but sometimes, you know in humans, i feel like i need more time to do nothing.

i need a little bit of liberty. you know just one week.

but nothing is easy in life.

we all have to go to that college-life phase. it's a matter of how fast you'll be in it.

to me, it's FAST enough.

i should be doing my homework right now. or i should be studying. or better yet sleeping. not rambling on this page. but, when lust takes over (please ladies and gentlemen control your lusts) i just have to simply follow it. sorry, A REALLY REALLY BAD ADVISE.

but hell, who cares. im writing about myself anyway. pffft.

STOP BEING SO VAIN! (note-to-self)

ok, before i babble about things that are less necessary, i rather stop and continue with my homework.

or maybe i should feed my fish a little longer?

nahh..

nak cerita jugak

salam.
mungkin, sesiapa yang membaca akan meyirap dengan post jejak hidup aku untuk kali ini. dah lama aku berhajat untuk menulis tentang benda ni, cuma masih tidak menjumpai kata-kata yang sesuai.
tapi, kalau setakat asyik memikir tanpa betul-betul nak menulis, memang laa tak dapat kata-kata yang sesuai kan?
ok, membebel pulak aku ni.
post kali ni aku nak cerita pasal seorang lelaki yang paling lama aku suka (setakat ni).

saat kami berjumpa, nak cakap romantik, memang jauh sangat.
jumpa dekat airport lcct. masa tu, tengah tunggu beg yang dalam kargo. aku pun menyapu mata aku ke sekeliling, ternampak kelibat seorang lelaki yang agak tinggi dan agak putih melepak.
mata aku terhenti. oh boleh tahan, detik hatiku.
untuk mengelakkan mata kami bertentangan, aku pandang tempat lain, kemudian, dengan sengaja aku toleh semula ke arah dia. dia senyum dekat seseorang. lepas tu dia ketawa. ternampak giginya yang ber-'braces'. oh tuhan, sangat comel. aku mula cair.

dari saat itu, aku mula mencari kelibatnya di sekolah. cuba menghafal bentuk begnya yang agak usang tapi sangat kelelakian.

nak pendekkan cerita, mungkin ini ialah dugaan hidup atau ujian daripadaNYA. aku dapat lebih mengenalinya.

aku anggap dia seorang lelaki yang sempurna. baik. tak, terlampau baik. suka jaga tepi kain aku. 'just the way i like it'. penyayang. banyak lagi.

tapi, kalau nak dikatakan sempurna di mata orang lain, mungkin tidak.
bukan nak kata apa, tapi aku rasa, dia takde laa sehebat lelaki-lelaki lain yang pernah aku jumpa. kami pun banyak perbezaan. dia pernah kata aku ni macam kelelakian sikit. aku terasa, tapi entahlah, dia sungguh menarik buat aku.

sangat naif.

perwatakkan dia nampak sangat masih setahun jagung dalam berinteraksi dengan seorang perempuan.

memang sangat naif.

tapi aku suka. entah kenapa.

hubungan kami tidak lebih daripada seorang kawan.
takkan lebih kot. tapi, kalau ditakdirkan TUHAN kami bersama sampai ke jinjang pelamin, aku bersyukur.

rasanya, dah betul-betul dua tahun aku suka dia.
perasaan dia terhadap aku?
aku pun tak tahu. dan aku taknak tahu.
kalau dia jumpa seseorang perempuan yang jauh lebih baik daripada aku, aku akan sokong dia habis-habisan. insyaAllah.

nota kaki: boleh percaya ke cerita dongeng aku ni? ke hanya fantasi semata-mata? :)